I was just looking at this page, intending to update when I realized the last post was cut off in the middle. I have no idea why that happened. I'll update for real later.
Because he said he would use a condom, and didn't.
Because your birth control failed.
Because you can't afford to feed another child.
Because he left you and the children you already have.
Because you're 13 (or 10, or 11) and have your whole life ahead of you.
Because the much-wanted baby is hopelessly deformed and won't live outside the womb. And having it will destroy your chance at ever having another.
Because it's your body, and you should decide whether you should bear a child or not.
Because you can never stop a woman who wants an abortion from getting one... but you can keep her from killing herself with a coat hanger.
Because this right wing madness doesn't stop at abortion, they're after birth control too.
Because in a free society, women make their own choices, good and bad.
I marched for myself. I marched for women. Mostly I marched for my daughter. When I saw her this morning I tried to articulate to her why I marched. I am having trouble even doing this for myself. Luckily she couldn't even get over the fact that she is going to be a woman someday ('no, i'm devan..?') so I didn't really have to explain much more.
When the march started, I saw two elderly women grasp each others hands, and the corner of one of the women's lips trembled as she looked at the other. I can't explain why, but I got tears in my eyes. I didn't know them and they didn't know me. The whole event was surreal. I lost my group in the very beginning, after stopping to take a look at some inbred wierdos and their photoshopped dead fetus banners. A couple marchers ripped one of the banners out of the guys hands and a small scuffle started. I turned around to find my group and they were either long gone, or I'd moved pretty far ahead. I marched by myself, near the edge, so I was at all times either having hateful things screamed at me by christians (isn't that odd), being prayed over by other christians, and being told what to do with my body by pre-pubescent boys.
At one point A woman scowled at me and said 'Get a life! Be a wife!' and I giggled a little because it was so silly.
I wish I would have stayed longer, but I was afraid I'd miss my bus back to NJ, so I didn't get to listen to most of the rally. I saw some on CSpan2 today and I was getting all emotional again. This event was so amazing and awesome. I'm so glad I went. (ps. there were way more than 500,000 people there. don't believe what you read.)
Went to the Met today. For the first hour or so I was in a pretty good mood. I was up on the second floor, feeling artistic and inspired. That's when Jon took Jason and Devan and went to the cafeteria. I told him I would stay on the second floor, so stay I did... for almost 2 hours. The reason I was there was to do some partial-figure studies of sculpture. The only ones that interested me on the second floor were by Rodin and right in the middle of a busy area. This combined with my short attention span, proved diseasterous. I got nothing done and was in a pretty crappy mood when I finally met up with Jon again. I got one drawing done down in the courtyard area and then I'd had it. I hate looking at my sketchbook and seeing SHIT. So I decided I'll go back next weekend.
After leaving the city, which took forever today, for some reason, we went to Barnes and Noble, where this man sitting at a table studying looked up at me and said "She (Devan) is so beautiful." I wasn't sure if it was sweet or creepy. I bought a knitting book (Finishing techniques) and BITCH magazine. Devan got 3 Dora the Explorer books.
When I got home I was suprised to find that my marriage license had arrived, as well as Rowan Junior. The girl on the cover of this book is just absolutely gorgeous. I'm beginning to favor Rowan again. The whole Biggie Print/ cotton chenille bruise is healing.
I'm supposed to get up in an hour and a half to go catch the bus to go to the march. I'm not going to bed, even though I have a terrible headache. I do not look foreward to the rain we're supposed to have.
I saw 21 Grams tonight. Losing a child has got to be the most difficult thing to live with. Losing 2 + spouse is unfathomable. I'm not sure how I felt about the movie. Naomi Watt's puffy mouth bothers me though, I will tell you that.
Today has been all about knitting and yarn and low self-esteem.
I'm having one of those weeks where I don't want to leave my house, even though I'm beginning to get a bit squirrely. I'm feeling fat and ugly and I'm not sure if it's 'that time of the month' or what, since I'm so screwed up. This is one of those more than you needed to know moments... ah screw it. I'm supposed to be going to D.C for the march on Sunday. I'm a little miffed that it's going to rain. Seems a little miserable.
I'm pretty sure my first book will get here tomorrow. I ordered 7 books from Amazon.com. The one coming tomorrow is Rowan Junior.
The next order, with free shipping, won't arrive for almost a month. totally bogus but whatever. In that order, I bought Pipsqueaks, Adorable Knits for Tots, Cotton Knits for All Seasons , Simple Knits for Little Cherubs, Tadpoles &Tiddlers, and Simple Knits by Debbie Bliss.
One knitting 'book' I've got a real hankerin' for is that Debbie Bliss Tweed Collection book.
I'm bidding on an auction on ebay for 10 skeins of Noro Kureyon. The price is so low I know that I'll be outbid, and I won't be bidding again because I just went through a bit of my yarn and there's enough yarn and ideas to last me for at least a couple years, with the sporadic way I knit.
So I've got 1 sleeve and the back of my White Buffalo unspun sweater/jacket completed. I like the yarn and I don't like it. It's kind of a pain in the ass, but it was inexpensive and interesting...
I'm contemplating these cubby-like shelves from Ikea for my bedroom. What do you think I'll be storing in them? I'm trying to figure out if the shelves just sit on the floor and latch to the wall for safety, or if you actually can mount them to the wall. That's what I want, wall shelves.
holy crap do you see the time? It's time for me to go to bed!
intarsia + 2 strands of bulky wool at a time = sore fingers. Ohh but it's worth it. It's a secret.
I would like to skip class tomorrow. I still haven't finished Edward Scissorhands' hair on either of my paintings. And I just now remembered that I completely forgot to do an extra sketch with color analysis on it. Grr.. I don't want to do it.
I am so tired right now. I'll go to bed and update this for real tomorrow.
Today something a little (doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, that's the twilight zone music in case you couldn't hear me singing it) weird happened. I was having one of those daydream/fantasies where my imagination just kind of goes with some little idea I had, and in this daydream I imagined myself, pregnant, and then in the daydream I saw Jon's coworker's wife pregnant at the same time. Well, then later today, Jon emailed me and told me said coworkers wife just found out she is pregnant, which is totally cute and gives me an excuse to knit, not that I need one. Also, if I have your confidence, I will admit that I woke up this morning feeling positively nauseous and I thought in my head "pregnant? hmm.."
If I still have your confidence, I'll also admit that I'd be totally thrilled, and so would Jon. He said so this weekend when we were driving around. I'd go so far as to tell you that he actually wants to have another baby. I guess he's taking this husband/wife business seriously.
Because of all of this baby talk and baby thinking, I bought a few books from amazon.com. I got suckered into buying another because I am one of those neurotics who can't stand weird, odd, numbers. I guess I can't really call it suckered, and I can't really blame amazon for that.
I also had this realization today. I think my drawing professor has been having his wife, Liz, model all along. This is totally bizarre if you ask me. I thought they were just friends. Also, she's pregnant. I noticed a little flare in her belly, and a look of discomfort on her face during the long pose last week. Nausea during pregnancy is seriously the worst.
My wrist hurts now, so I ought to go. Oh, another thing, I found several patterns on amazon.com, you know, 'search inside this book'. One was a baby kimono, one was a little ugly sweater/hat set, and two were socks. no I didn't copy them.
I went to A.C. Moore twice this weekend. Saturday I went to the one in Parsippany for some sock yarn, which they carry a wide variety of, and sugar n' cream which was 84 cents. (not that I needed anymore. I already have 20 or so balls of different colors... Today I went to the one in Middletown NY, because I was annoyed that I couldn't find any 3 1/2 inch inseamed shorts at Old Navy in my size while I was at the mall. I was also steamed because ALL jeans are STRETCH these days. WTF is this stretch nonsense. God what a horrid trend. I seriously hate strech more than anything else. Every pair of jeans I looked at not only had the dreaded stretch, but also came pre-worked on the farm, fell in the dirt, dragged down the road, faded in the sun. You know what I'm talking about. Next stupidest trend ever. Hello, I buy new jeans because I want NEW jeans, not the same jeans I'm replacing. There's an art to breaking in a pair of jeans. Buying them pre-worn, well, it sort of takes the beauty out of the experience.
Anyways, back to my yarn. I got some fisherman's wool today. No real reason. just thought I'd get it. I also got a Katia book. Had some nice sweater patterns. I think I bought something else, but I can't remember what. The main reason I went was for some Patons merino, but they didn't have it at this particular store.
I just finished two homework assignments. I can't believe the semester is almost over. Awesome.
UGh. I completely forgot why I updated this in the first place. Ok. I bought Knit n' style, which, I must admit, I was embarrassed to buy because of the absolutely ridiculous knitwear on the cover. Have you seen it? I think the rule is: Just because you can knit it, doesn't mean you should. Someone should hip those folks to that...
Anyway, in the magazine there's a bit about knitting in Japan. I nearly choked on my tea when I saw the John Lennon New York yarn. I want some and if you've seen it, please leave a comment telling me where I can get it. Really. my life might depend on it. really. If I can't find a way to get it, I'm going to Japan. I swear.
also, I just got a subscription to rebecca and I am also ordering # 23 because of a vest I want to knit. I really want a vest.
I'm having a very chocolate moment. I just ate a hollow milk chocolate looney tunes egg, 2 almond hershey kisses, and a few reese's pieces cups. Speaking of pieces. It has come to my attention (by way of me noticing) that I have been spelling 'piece' incorrectly for so long that I don't even remember. I'm not a stupid person, really I'm not. There are a few things in life I have trouble with. I can't even explain it. My main 'stupid idiot' problems include 'i be for e except after c' and when someone says ''turn left" or "turn right" i have to hold my thumb and index finger in front of my face to tell the direction, and even then, I forget which direction L goes...
Lately things are going really really great for me. Minus being fat and minus being unable to tell my left from right and being unable to spell really easy words. Also minus me falling down a flight of stairs in the pouring rain on my back with all of my art junk in my hands. That was really bad. Aside from those things, plus owing money to the state this year in taxes, things are going totally wonderfully.
Well one of these days when I get the courage, and have eaten up all of the easter candy in my house, I will cut all sugar and refined flour out of my diet. I'm going to be so hot it will be sickening. You will all be sick with jealousy and lust (except family, gross.)
Oh well it's back to knitting. I've got some major work to do!
Is it just me or has this day gone by really fast?
tonight is diner night, but Jon is being stubborn and wants to grill. I don't want to grill tonight.
last night I watched Gone With The Wind for the 60,000th time and knitted some of Devan's dress. The thing is taking forever and this is just the back. It will not be done in time to give to Devan for her birthday. oh well.
I really hate inconsiderate idiot neglectful parents. When I go to get my car serviced and bring Devan along, it doesn't mean that I am the service dept. wet nurse. your kids, your problem. don't leave them in the waiting room with me or I will get up with my kid and go for a walk, leaving your kid unattended to. Someone did this to me today, and their son was SUCH a brat. He actually tackled Devan at one point and I grabbed Devan and took her for a walk. It was so frustrating, because then Devan's crying because she thinks she's being punished for being bad, which she was not. I mean she wasn't being wonderful or anything, but she was being a normal 2 year old. Meanwhile the mom, who was pregnant with another future brat, was strolling around outside in the sun with no cares in the world.
I have to stop reading knitting blogs for about a week, and then I can concentrate enough on scholarly things to catch up. I'm doing pretty well this morning, considering that my plan to go to bed at 2:20am was foiled by Devan waking up complaining about seeing a lobster in her room. Being the wise old mom that I am, I sprayed Lobster Spray (B&BW bergamot coriander essential oil spray) and by gum, that lobster was history. I got to sleep at around 3. I think because of the lobster, I had this weird dream about scary bugs with pincers, and right before Jon woke me up, one bit me and left a welt on me.
So back to my progress, I've completed 3 out of the 6 self portraits I had to finish. Pretty good, since I don't have to be in class til 12:15. I did all 3 of these in pencil rather than in charcoal because... well just because. I hope it's not a problem.
Ok. You've been waiting for it (well maybe). Let's talk about knitting. I've been very disappointed in my last 2 magazine purchases. This is why you skim through the magazine before throwing it into your shopping carriage. I can't remember the first one because it was just horrible and I think I have a mental block because of that. The second one was vogue knitting (spring 04 i think, too lazy to actually look for it). I liked one top in VK. It was some sort of a halter top maybe? I probably wouldn't wear it because as I've said about 80 times in this blog (not bragging, honest) my boobs are outta control.
What's on my needles, you ask? Well lots of things, to tell the truth. Nothing that's presently being worked on, but I'm sure that's besides the point. Blue project was tossed aside in a moment of rage that has yet to completely subside. The infamous christmas sock has been sitting since, you guessed it, christmas. I've got several log cabin wash clothes with 3 out of 4 sides. I have been avoiding devan's heirloom dress because of the tiny needles. they hurt my precious fingertips. Oh, I nearly forgot, I've got one sleeve of my white buffalo unspun sweater finished, but I haven't touched the thing in about a week. Ok. In my defense, I did finish 1 of the log cabin wash clothes (not before going out and buying 15 more balls of sugar n' cream, but whatever.. it's a sickness I tell you. Some people go shoe shopping and some people go yarn shopping. Personally, if, when I'm feeling uncontrollably yarn hungry, I stick to elann or say, a.c. moore, my sickness is way less expensive than shoe shopping.)
Ok, I'm finished rambling. It's time to do another self portrait and get in the shower.
I just did a double take when I glanced at the clock. I can't believe how late it is. Ugh. I have that horrible feeling, deadlines looming and my pile of work is still about a foot high. This is getting to be a regular thing. Whatever happened to my ocd-like organization and scheduling skills? Lately I don't have time to just sit down and relax. This morning I woke up at 6am. The purpose of waking up so early was to write my reaction paper to the Clothesline Project. I ended up not writing it, and pulling something out of my ass during my break between drawing and design. I typed the paper during the break between design and the class that had the paper due. Basically I ran around all day and I'm tired. That's the gyst of what I'm writing to you.
I walked into the art studio today, and to my surprise found that the two pieces I had hurriedly entered into the exhibition were accepted. This is great because from what I hear they really had to scale down the exhibition this year and were extremely picky about what was allowed in and what was not. So I feel good about that. Now I have to get both pieces framed and matted and maybe I will sell them in the show? Who knows. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay?
Well, on my way home from class tonight I got an extra large coffee and I planned on staying up late and finishing 2 paintings and 6 self portraits. Unfortunately, I didn't even finish 1 painting. I am hoping that it doesn't matter and that I can finish it next week sometime. The self portraits really should have been done and I'm hoping to go to bed in 5 minutes and wake up in 4 hours to get busy finishing those up. I want to at least get 4 of the 6 done. Then I'll have 10 all together and that will be a good thing.
Tonight I watched Soprano's and Deadwood. The only person I liked on Deadwood GOT KILLED tonight so that's a bummer. I was mostly painting my edward scissorhands painting which is driving me nuts it's so boring. Now I have to do another painting of the same thing, only negative, you know, instead of blue, orange, etc..
I'm supposed to be doing homework. I keep slacking off. I actually just remembered that I have a paper due. Well while I'm on here I guess I'll print out some research...yea that's it..
We got a grill Friday night, so Jon's been out grilling everything. He insists that it's manly, and this whole cooking over an open fire is what men are supposed to do and he's pretty excited about it, and I guess I'm excited that the burden of cooking dinner or, er, dialing the phone to order dinner is lifted from me.
Well you want to see a picture of me becoming a DePue?
that pic is from the little announcement my mom made. Are we adorable or what?
ER was irritating last night, what with Carrie's dead wife's homophobic family keeping her baby from her and all... Didn't put me in a great mood. I painted during the Apprentice, which I don't care about at all. Am I the only person in America who doesn't give a damn about reality tv? I hate reality tv. I mean, if it's on I will listen while I'm knitting or painting, but if it weren't for my hands being busy, I'd most likely change the channel.
I'm going to have chinese food for lunch because instead of goign to the diner we got chinese. That's how thursday nights are. it's diner night, or if we can't go out, it's chinese night.
If this is short, sorry. I don't have much to say... I'm keeping my distance from the computer because I keep putting my e-foot in my e-mouth because I'm annoyed at myself, an example of this is my last entry.
I guess I'll talk about knitting since that's at least a shade more interesting than the rest of my life right now. I'm working on this white buffalo unspun zip up sweater in navy. It knits up really fast, the only annoying part is that I keep tangling the yarn around itself. I worked a little on Devan's dress while on vacation. No real notable progress has been made. Last time I touched her red homespun hoodie was to rip out the facing on the hood. STill haven't finished that. I've been doing some mindless log cabin washcloths, but I've not been actually counting stitches or anything so they're all misshapen, which is ok with me. WHat i mean is that the middle ends up being a rectangle so each side is a different width so that the final product is an 8x8'' square. They're just washcloths so i don't give a crap. Actually I do. Deep down it is driving me nuts but right now i am pretending I don't care about anythign so why not add my misshapen, washcloths to the list. What else am i working on?? A sock. ... I've been working on this sock since the day after christmas. It's boring. I hate knitting socks. i like buying socks. okkkk I am hungry for chinese now. bye.
Well I f'd up. I missed a really excellent opportunity that I was working toward, and looking foreward to for a couple years because i thought I was doing something far more important and meaningful, only to be verbally slapped in my face for it.
this is what happens when you put yourself last. I ought to make a note somewhere not to do that again.
Ah. whatever. I'll be over it shortly, after 'diner night' and a healthy dose of ER, and maybe a little quality time with my husband and daughter.
Well ok. I can't stay long, but I'll tell you about our weekend. I had been debating whether or not to go away on Saturday because of some family problems that were going on, and I didn't want to seem like I was being insensitive, going off to have a good time. In retrospect, it was probably a good thing because I couldn't have done anything anyways. So friday morning I woke up and called all over NY to find a cty clerk who could issue Jon and I a marraige license. Fortunately, the wedding officiant found us a cty clerk in Grand Island NY and we were all set. Friday night I dropped Devan at Jon's parents so I could go to the mall and buy a couple things, swimsuits for the hotel pool, a nice dress, and some other things. When I came home, the dogs were at the kennel, and the house stunk so I mopped and cleaned (so as to not come home from a great weekend to a filthy stinky house).
Saturday we left at 6 am, drove up to grand Island. Got there at about noon. We got our marriage license and that's when I started getting nervous. We went to the hotel and checked in early. The hotel was sweet by the way. We got a presidential suite with a big jaccuzi and a big bay window in the bedroom with a fireplace that overlooked niagara falls. We shelled out quite abit of money for the room but it was worth it, especially at night.
I felt a little disappointed when we got there, and I regretted not having any family, or planning it a little more. but it was taking us 2 years to really buckle down and plan our wedding. The way I see it is now we are finally married and i feel so much relief, and we don't have this anger towards each other anymore, over this wedding stuff - i'm so calm i don't know what to do with myself.
We had fun in ontario, spend money, ate in a fancy restaurant, bought lots of junk to bring back for people, and took a m illion pictures. My computer is broken though, so I can't share any of them yet.
I was so tired today when i woke up that I skipped a class. maybe I should lay down for an hour, i'm still tired...I forgot all about this clothesline project at school.
(Nov 19)
I've been asked to make a Christmas wish list, so here it is. Click on
Santa to view it!
(Dec 11)
I am unable to sleep, so I took time to make the blog archives work. of course, images that were on old yahoo server do not work anymore (read: anything before April 2005) so you'll have to use your imagination. Check the sidebar for a link if you're interested.
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(Nov 22)
There. I finally did it. Now go buy me stuff:)
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(Nov 7)Take note of the changes along the right sidebar. I've been reading blogs, and that, of course, means joining knitalongs!
However my next task (which will be my next announcement)
is to create a holiday wishlist, as there have been several people asking for one.
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(Aug 6) Hi guys, How cute is this: I have a new little niece!! Bryan and Mandie's little girl was born last Sunday (I think)
and in the spirit of utter ridiculousness, I give you, Madelyn dancing.
.......................
(June
1) Here is a little picture. Obviously, these are BF5 lyrics.
.......................
(May
23) Sup dudes? I was kinda bored last night, so I made a picture.
again. only tell me if you like it. I have a fragile ego.
.......................
(May
14) Going through a wave of depression. Don't feel like
doing anything except artwork. Here are a couple
pictures I made. You may have seen them, since they're
meant for my websites. If you've seen them as background
images, excuse the tiling, I'm fixing it when I feel
like it.
if you like them, let me know. if you don't, keep it to
yourself.
.......................
(April 28) Ok... I've been on hiatus. Bear with me and
my broken links and pictures while I move all my junk
around.
Life is good and I'm glad my site is working again.
.......................
(Jan 11) Due to real life
pals/family complaining about how little real life
content there is in this journal, I'm going to make a
real effort to include that stuff, and not just knitting
stuff. I hope this pleases you guys.
.......................
(Jan 10) Today is the
anniversary of my Grampa's death. We still miss you so
much.
.......................
(Jan 4) Congratulations
Michael & Tiffany!!
Welcome to the family,
Tif!
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(Dec 30) Just two quick
notes today:
1. We've got another
completed Casey's Coat.
click to see Vito!
2. I'll be out of town
for about 3 weeks. My brother, Mike, is getting married!
After that I'm going to be house sitting for my mom
while she is out of town. This will not have an affect
on you or my blogging, I just felt like sharing.
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(Dec 2) My brother has
been making me some pretty cool knitting charts. I think
they're mighty awesome and I'm trying to figure out a
project I can use them for. They're pdf files, except
the first one (which is actually not his design, it's
the work of someone on myspace.com) so go ahead and have
at them. If he makes many more charts, I'll disable the
links and offer the chart patterns for a small fee via
paypal, because, after all, it is his art work and he
deserves compensation!
click the images to view full sized charts: 2nd & 3rd images ?2004 R. Wuebker
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(Nov 28)My little sister is a knittin' fool. We shopped
all over for some good needles for her. She's been using
these kids plastic-y needles that I find to be really
uncomfortable and annoying. We tried some aluminum
needles but they were too slick and long. We finally
settled on some Clover Bamboo needles and from what I
have heard, she likes them the best. She's working on a
lavender scarf. I'll have my mom take a pic so I can
post it here.
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(Nov 28) I'm back! Christmas Knitting and yarn stash
enhancement is in full effect in this house. There's a
new(?) Knitting/Fabric store in the town my mom lives
in. It's called Sew Krazy. image is property of sew-krazy.com
They are currently squeezed in a tiny location just
chock full of amazing stuff! They have a whole shelf of
Kaffe Fasset fabrics, which you know I loved. They
had lots of yarn by Rowan and Brown Sheep. They didn't
have any Debbie Bliss. The shop is working on expanding
in a new location, equipped with a beautiful fireplace
(My mom and I peeked through a hole in the door) and
it's HUGE. This place was great and there's a cafe
called Muddy Waters next door. So this place will be
perfect to sit down, relax, drink coffee, and knit by
the fireplace when I go out to visit for 3 weeks in
January. The building is also really beautiful and
contains many other interesting shops. Check it out if
you're ever nearby.
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(Nov 18)Last year for Christmas, Mr. Handsome gave me an
EZ Stir. If you haven't got a clue what an easy-stir
is, (consider yourself lucky) it's a device that
attaches to your pots and pans and stirs your sauces for
you! Ingenious! I have still not taken the EZ Stir out
of its package. This year, I thought I'd make it easy on
my husband and anyone else who wishes to shower me with
gifts.
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(Nov 17)Looking for unique cards to send out this
Holiday season?
Check out
Loobylu
and Darling
Studio for some fabulous and unique holiday cards.
