I am coming to you live from the fuzzy drunk numb part of my forehead. I am drunker than a skunk and not because i am celebrating anything. It's one of those situations where reality's too f'd up to deal with so hello grey goose!
i bought yarn today. I discovered parsippany a.c. moore, which houses some fine yarns if I do say so myself. I found that katia pretty yarn that i wanted for a scarf this past winter at a mere fraction of the cost I paid at the knitting basket (i think that's what it's called) They have some patons classic merino (if that's what it's called ) I mean you get the gyst right? they had fisherman's wool at less than half of what it costs at michael's in rockaway... and ummm lots of other stuff. a geoddeffeiraaa what the heck is that stuff called(?) big wool that reminded me of rowan biggie print but i might be way off on that comparison so don't quote me.. anyways, all i bought was sugar n' cream cuz i'm making wash cloths. i bought 13 balls of the stuff and i've only completed 1 ummmwashcloth but i cant photograph it because my laptop is broken because devan broke the adapter. i don' tknow if i mentioned tha tin a previous entry. i mean i can take pictures all i want but yo uwon't get to see them because we have BERLIN WALL OF TECHNOLOGY between us. : (
YARn is so much better than reality
I am sorry for typo'ing! I am making very sure that my html tags are in their correct form but that's all i'm being sure of right now. guys you know what my drawing professor said to me . He whispered to me "peggy you have it" and i was like huh. but now I get it.
Also today i bought a great bra at the mall it is so soft. it's like amazing. also i bought a strapless bra for the wedding (not mine, my pal sarah's) and it's such a joke! I mean these boobs need straps. these boobz are outta control.
Ok now it's time to be a mama - devan today laid back on the couch with her little arms stretched behind her head and said ahhh this is the life. and then a short while later she was standing by the door, sealing a letter she was writing her daddy (in fact it was a series of happy and sad faces) and she raised her little pudgy fists abover her head and said "I feel empowered" Where did I get her? she's awesome. goodnight you guysssss i m hitting the bed!
I finished Devan's little red homespun sweater and I hate it. I knew I'd hate it after I finished the front and back, and yet I kept investing precious time into it. Oh well.
No one knows me. I guess it's my own fault because I don't put myself out there and I should. I'm too shy and I miss out on so much because I just sit home, or I sit in class and I don't talk even when I have lots of stuff to say. Maybe I should go on ZOLOFT?
I had this grand idea - but I'm wussing out. *Most disappointing of all*
I might have to call out of my first class tomorrow because Devan may need to see the pediatrician. I better go to sleep now.
I finally finished my paper, and truth be told it was not that bad (says the girl who hasn't turned it in and recieved her grade yet..) I finished it this evening, between making a heaven pie and reheating the baked ziti for soprano's sunday. I've made a vow to myself, not to recheck the hard copy of the paper for errors because I can't do anything about them, my computer is broken and i won't have one tomorrow. ALL DAY. Whatever will I do? Will I get caught up on all of my art projects? Me thinks this might just be a blessing in disguise.
Devan's been sick lately. Her stomache has been bothering her. We thought she was better today, but she surprised us again at midnight. I'm hoping she sleeps through the night.
I've been so tired lately. I could fall asleep anywhere. Today me and Jon both fell asleep on the chaise part of our sectional nose to nose. It was nice. So nice in fact, that even though the position was killing my neck, I ignored the pain and kept laying there with him.
I'm about done with Devan's homespun sweater. And I'm about back where I was the other night with her heirloom dress (you know, that fateful night...) Maybe I'll actually finish something one of these days and put pictures of KNITTED items in my blog. Imagine that, would you! I actually just realized that I never posted a picture of the coronet hat I knitted (from Knitty). Well here it is for your viewing pleasure, modeled by devan, who looks really weird in this pic...
I just told Jon that for our anniversary I'd like some yarn from Briggs & Little. And I heard him making a mental note out loud, only this is what he said: "brazen yellow yarn... ok...". UHH.. I can't even imagine what that would be. So I won't be holding my breath April 10th!
Today I finished the first and started the second sleeve(and am now half way through) of Devan's 4t hooded sweater. I don't even LIKE it and I hate knitting with homespun, allthough I'm reluctant to admit that I do like the way the finished fabric feels against my skin. One of my most favorite throw blankets is the earth toned throw that Jon's grandmother gave me (I was supposed to weave in the ends) a few months ago. I keep forgetting to weave in the ends, but they don't appear to be going anywhere.
I made some progress on my paper. I have all of my notes for the most part completed. I just have to sit down tomorrow and type the stupid paper out. I work best that way, making it up as I go along. My art projects aren't that big of a deal, now that I'm thinking calmly about things. The ones I'm really interested in, I want to have completed before the exhibition submission deadline (april 8) and I think that's totally doable, so I can chill out now.
Devan's been sick since Thursday. I'm not sure what's wrong with her. She's been behaving horribly and complaining and whining that her tummy hurts. She threw up today in the van, which was great. And she threw up at midnight the other night. I feel bad for her, she looks all pastey and pale.
and with that, I guess I'm free to knit for a little while!
My bathroom looks like a tornado or earthquake ..or some other natural diseaster hit it. Why, you ask? Well Jon's under the impression that he is going to fix the toilet. He's very excited about all of this. However, he has a natural tendency to be lazy and not ever really finish anything he starts so I guess I'll be taking showers upstairs from now on.
We have to go to the store in a little bit. I'm not sure if i want to KNIT or if I want to do some reading in my anthro. book while we're out. My to do list goes something like this:
Find 5 articles that relate to my assigned book - check
Figure out relationships, write at least a page on each -
Write un/favorable review of book stating at least 2 neg. and 4 pos. aspects of book -
Write introduction to paper, stating 5 articles chosen and why, whether view of book is favorable or not -
Print out 3 copies of paper in its completed state. Turn in Tuesday.
Finish Edward Scissorhands painting
analagous collage/ color block chart painting
3 collages using different types of symmetry
2 or 3 copies of master (Degas) drawings emphasizing line quality
4 still lives
Sketchbook crap
Redo Gradient scales (2)
Redo negative space assignment
Someone needs to hold a gun to my head and make me get busy because I'm getting so far behind.
"I guess I'll go to bed now, now that my spirit is broken."
This is what I said to Jon last night after I threw a rewound ball of Debbie Bliss wool/cotton across the family room. I just sat down to relax for a few minutes and maybe knit a row or two of Devan's dress. I was so busy talking to Jon that I forgot to do a couple decreases in one of the row. Being slightly groggy and not wanting any hassles undoing 130 individual stitches, I decided to just pull out the needle and rip back two rows. Maybe I was just tired, pr maybe I'm extraordinarily unskilled, but this yarn is so friggin' splitty I just could NOT get the tiny little stitches back onto the needles no matter how hard I tried. So like a real spazz, I became very dramatic and frogged the entire thing (Instead of setting it down until tomorrow). Damnit. Damnit. Oh well, at least I don't have that as a distraction during this week.
Will my W.B. Unspun be here today?? Probably not. I'm anxious but the rational part of me is hoping it's not. Well I better get painting. Art Exhibition entries are due by April 8 and I still have 3 paintings and some big collage work to get finished.
Starting homework at 8:05, so this will be another short post!
Haven't knit anything substantial in a few days. Can't wait for my White Buffalo unspun. I chose the slower shipping because it was cheaper and it would not be here to distract me during this busy busy week.
Spent 4 hours at the emergency vet with Lily last night, $350 dollars later we found that she has pristine bloodwork, no obstructions, and no parasites. She seems FINE today. Totally back to her normal self.
Well I'm happy to report that Lily has apparently recovered from whatever was upsetting her stomache. It might have been a bug. I'm really relieved - partly because I was really upset about how sick she was, and partly because it would have cost hundreds of dollars JUST to figure out what was wrong with her and we can't afford it and we didn't want to have to put anyone out, asking for help. We're also introducing her to a new food, so we're hoping that will help.
I'm starting to realize how ODD our Charlie party must seem. Part of me wants to delete the entry but... but, it's just SO ABSURD, so I guess it's staying.
I've made a tiny dent in this mountain of homework. I finally let go of the guilt of not turning in my anthropology paper in early for feedback(by 3-23). The way I see it is that I could rush today (monday) and put together a crappy peice of work, or I can take my time, reread the book, and really THINK about this paper and do a good job and turn it in on the actual due date (3-30). Now that I've stopped struggling with it, I can actually get some artwork done.
I'm currently working on a pointellism painting of a woman's back. It's turning out quite nicely, if I do say so myself. I just finished a really basic design project. It's a continuous contour of still life objects, with abstract lines and junk filling up the negative space. I really like how it turned out, even if it is kind of elementary.
I was reading this blog last night and I saw a sweater I want to knit and I bought the yarn (it was only 5 balls of it) and I'm feeling pretty guilty since we are so poor right now. I've also been wanting to go to Michael's to get some Sugar 'n Cream to finish some washcloths. Why is it that I always get really involved in knitting projects when I have something important (school work) to do? I hate that feeling like there's no end in sight. I still have so much work to do. I wish that my color professor had some idea of the TIME it takes to finish her assignments. These collages and pointellism paintings take a lot of time and time is seriously so hard to budget when you have a toddler. It's especially challenging when you've got one who really gravitates towards the arts. I can't paint or draw around her because she just wants to participate and she can't if I'm going to get anything done.
I think it's funny that every semester I freak out about all of the work I have to do and yet I still have not found a way to budget my time, and that I continue to make Dean's list, allthough I don't know about this semester. I know I somehow did it last semester but I haven't seen my grades still, so I don't know how close I am to blowing that.
Ugh. you know your blog, journal, whatever is bad when you have to restrain yourself from deleting your entries everytime you type them out. I never have anything to say! Well I better get to sleep so that I can wake up ridiculously early and do some self portraits and follow my daughter around all day sketching her. Oh yea and then I have to go to the library and find a book on Ingres or Degas, and then I have to try to draw one of their drawings, and then I have to read some articles in my anthropology book and then I have to finish my novel and then I have to finish my paintings and my collage! If I were a gamblin' woman I'd bet that about 3 of these tasks, several rows of Rick's cap, a few rows of Devan's dress, and a delicious dinner will be completed and eaten by 10pm Monday night.
Lily's doing much better. She hasn't thrown up at all today! Yay!
This afternoon we celebrated Charlie's (he's Devan's baby doll) birthday. His birthday was wednesday but I guess we were both busy?! Really, it's just an excuse for us to eat PIE or CAKE but Devan was thrilled about it so we made a big deal of it. Here are a couple pictures:
The Lamb's Pride Bulky FINALLY came for Rick's winter cap, so I guess I will hurry up and finish the thing before Spring is over.
So it's 3:09 in the AM and I'm awake, partly because I was painting, partly because Lily (my dog) is really sick. She can't keep water or food in her - she keeps having diahreah and she's vomiting. We're taking her to the vet tomorrow morning for diagnostics testing. It's going to be expensive. Ugh. she just had to run outside again. This is scary because she is acting so droopy and sad.
In other news I'm freaking out because I waited til the last minute to do all of my homework. I know this is my own fault, but I didn't anticipate Lily being sick. Or me being sick. Or going to Ohio and blah blah blah...
Yarn for Salt Peanuts (cardigan in Interweave Knits spring 04) is 60% off at Elann.com. Unfortunately since I need almost 20 balls of it, it's still out of my price range. Damn. In other knitting news, I'm about 4 inches into my daughter's debbie bliss heirloom dress. This thing is taking forever because it's knit on size 2 and 3 needles, and there are about 130 stitches in each row. This is one of those times where I wish Devan were 3 months old again. As it is, I'm hoping to be done with this dress before her 3rd birthday (the largest size is 24 mo - 36 mo) and I'm hoping it fits her when all is said and done. I'm not thinking about that though.
I'm thinking about making some flower washcloths with cotton. I made one a few months ago with the Rowan cotton chenille and it wasn't the most pleasant experience of my life so I'm not looking to repeat it.
Remember how I wanted to contribute something to Knitty? Well, I probably won't. I've actually got a design all planned out, yarn bought, and the back of some fancy unders completed but I just don't have the time or energy to see this through. I'll probably continue to knit it through the deadline and make myself a hot little number. I have been thinking about making Devan a little cute nightgown with some of the leftovers. I've been wanting to buy her a nightgown for the longest time, and children's stores never sell them, so I might as well design my own.
I can't remember what else I was going to say. I just looked up and saw that damned Blue Project hanging off the shelf. I'm pretty pissed about that still. It was going to be so nice.
The good, the bad, and the ugly(and the devestating..)
The GOOD: Jon drove all the way to Ohio. We went to Wild Ginger with Rick that night and he paid which was awesome because we were really poor and ended up spending more money than we should have anyways. Bryan visited with Zachary and he's really cute and FAST. I enjoyed watching him play with Devan. I saw my dad and met my new mom (ha ha ha) and she made swedish meatballs. We visited my grandma, ate at Longhorn, spent a few minutes with my aunt susan and Gabrielle who is very cute. I made ziti for sopranos sunday and we watched tv together. It was fun. Jon drove all the way home.
The BAD: Discussed Jon's inability to commit to me with mom and sean, put me in a crappy mood. Got sick on the way out to ohio with a cold, festered and exhausted me but didn't disable me until Monday morning and now I'm full blown sick. Devan learned to hit and called Gabby an idiot, also says "wiener" just because. Jon threw up at applebee's while Rick and I enjoyed appetizers and drinks. Didn't have stitch holders in the car and couldn't knit after the first 2 hours out to Ohio.
The UGLY: What's up bad skin? My skin was HORRIBLE the entire time I was out there. And rick made fun of my ugly shoes.
The Devestating: I've been working on Blue Project for awhile now. I knitted for 8 hours in the car yesterday. Last night before I went to bed I put the two finished peices of the project together and found that the first piece was way too long and the second piece was too short. I have to start all over and I'm pretty upset about it.
I think I might just rip the whole thing out, and set it aside until the sight of it no longer sickens me.
I won't be updating this again until at least Monday night, so here goes nothin':
I finished up the little projects I was making for Jon's aunt Dee and left the house at about 5pm to take Lily to the vet, buy some gift bags for the presents, and go to the party. As soon as we pulled off our road, I smelled something GHASTLY. I turned around and saw poo in in my car. Suddenly Devan starts screaming "Lily frew up on me! get her off me!" Well. What happened is Lily had pooped all over the back of the car, stepped in it and jumped on Devan. So Devan had poop on her jeans. It was so gross. I pulled over in a church parking lot and started cleaning up. I got poop on my hand and I almost threw up. It sucked a lot but I finally got the poo out of the car, got back home and scrubbed it all out. I brought Lily back in and called Jon to tell him HE had to take her to the kennel because I had to leave (to get to the party!)
They had great food at the party and I ate a lot. When we got home I started packing and I still am packing and washing up some poo'd on clothes.
I had a couple things to say about IK. I really liked a few of the patterns, with some minor adjustments on some. I liked Salt Peanuts, The Aztec Sun vest (without the suns, and in a solid color), of course the Simply Marilyn sweater, and something else.... Mandarin something or other. I probably won't make the Mandarin one because my boobs are too big for it to look nice on me.
I better get some sleep now. I have a long day of knitting and riding in the car ahead of me. : )
Ok. I'm conflicted! The spring interweave knits finally came. I'm happy because it was taking forever and wasn't supposed to come until april. I'm sad because I just vowed not to buy any yarn and the beautiful wonderful sweater on the cover is taunting me... Oh I'm also happy because I want to make those stupid sweatpants. I keep seeing other peoples and now i want to make some. Now I can!
Well I finished a couple little tiny (not knitting) projects for someone's birthday. They're not wonderful but overall I'm pleased. I meant to do one other thing, washcloths, but I was trying to figure out a chart and I get like 28 rows into it and I'm like ?!?!?!?! so I've taken it apart about 60 times because something isn't working. I needed to be finished with it tonight but that's unlikely. It's getting so late already and I have to take Lily to the kennel before 6.
I'm excited about going to Ohio. We have no money this month (or any month really) but I guess it's especially tight this month - so we really should NOT be going out right now but I want to so we are. I'm excited about the 8 hours in the car where I can knit and knit and knit and who knows, maybe I'll finish something?!
My mom just called me from her cell phone to tell me my brother wants me to bring my GameCube and Animal Crossing! Well it's time for Devan's nap so adios!
I forgot to mention that those nudes were not finished and that i do know that the hand in #1 is too big and that the leg and foot in #2 are a little wacky. However do you notice how lovely her big toe is in # 2? I love this model. Her name is Liz and she has an amazing body. She's in great physical shape and has enough pudge to make her body unique and interesting. She's also great at doing really relaxed yet strong poses. I really love her and I get so happy when I see that she's the model! My professor told me that I remind him of Euan Uglow and I was a little puzzled because I'm familiar with the fruit and the flower vases but not his figures. I googled him and saw a little bit of something similar in the elbows and knees of a couple of his paintings but overall I'm like 'huh?'
My little devie was standing behind me really quietly a minute ago and then she held up a toothbrush smeared with toothpaste and said "You Have Brush Your Teef! I know you do!" And I turned around and she was wearing nothing but a teeshirt. She likes to take off her pants and underwear lately.
Tonight when I get home I will be knitting like nobody's business. I have to finish this stuff before 6:30 tomorrow. I also have to take Lily to the Kennel tomorrow until Monday because we're going out of town. Because Jon is driving me to Ohio, I will get busy knitting all the stuff I have been slacking off on : Blue Present, Socks, Knitty thing, and Devan's dress. I keep forgetting about Devan's dress. I wanted to have it done before May but that's my deadline for the Knitty thing too. Why do I put so much pressure on knitting? It's supposed to be relaxing, and it is, but I hate rushing. I make too many mistakes.
I don't want to go to my color class today. Should I call out? The class is soo Boringggg! Also I didn't finish my homework! Plus I just want to KNIT!
Ughh. devan has toothpaste all over her hair! We have to take a bath NOW.
Today was a long day. I got to school a little early but I had to go on an adventure in order to park my car, so I didn't get to do any still lives. Drawing was pretty fun. Here are 2 drawings I did today:
Design was a joke so I left at 4 and got a sandwich at subway. Then I sat in my car for an hour trying to study and trying NOT to fall asleep. My midterm sucked and it is all my fault if I failed it. I didn't study.
I had a great time driving home, listening to the Cars. And Poison. And Ozzy and Lita Ford. When I got home Jon told me this mouse that we are being tormented by was sitting on the couch (probably watching tv til Jon got home) and I immediately started pulling out furniture and found it. It was so cute, but I caught it and put it outside. I attempted to take it's picture while it was nibbling on some snow on my deck railing, but it jumped off so I only got a picture of its butt.
I have a collage to finish and another one to start! We're going to Ohio for a couple days (Fri-Mon) and hopefully me and Jon will be pals again by the time it's time to go. Jon is sitting on the couch chuckling about some program about spiders...
I have to knit 3 more washcloths and finish painting the cock (heehee) for a certain special someone. Then I have to help devan with her present. I want to work on the BLUE present and the LILAC knitty thing, but I don't have the time right now : (. Spring break is next week! ! ! But I have a (scholarly) project to work on.
I woke up this morning with the song "The Art of Dying" by George Harrison in my head. I'm gonna go ahead and take that as a bad sign today. I have to leave for school in about 45 minutes. In that time I have to clean off my car, get Devan dressed, go to the bathroom, eat something else, and of course the most important thing, update my journal.
Yesterday I came to the conclusion that Lily's essence is 'uncapturable'. See what I mean:
I actually got one picture of her face, but that was when she was in her crate, and she looked kind of sad so I am not posting it.
I have a midterm tonight so wish me luck. I didn't really study this morning but I think it was important to put myself in a better mood today, rather than study. Hey, at least my lack of preparation will make tonight INTERESTING. I'm hoping I feel good about my art classes today. I've been dreading them because of the awful time I had 2 weeks ago.
I'm wearing a nice sweater today and the ring Jon's grandma gave me. I'm hoping these 2 things help me feel less depressed too.
Well, so much for getting to school early and doing some sketching. : (
Last night, after I wrote my last entry, I talked to Jon's friend Matt on IM for awhile. I was really depressed when I was talking to him because I kind of realized something. You know when a FACT of life slaps you really hard in the face and you can't even try to deny it because it's RIGHT THERE STARING MENACINGLY AT YOU? That's kind of what happened. I won't go into dramatic detail but basically I don't have any real friends here, and while Matt's always made an effort to say ' you're my friend too' when I refer to him as Jon's friend, and that one time in the fall when Matt told me that if I needed someone to talk to he was there.... aside from all of that, he really is Jon's friend and not mine. After that conversation, I got in bed and said something that hurt Jon's feelings pretty bad. This morning when I woke up he was writing me a letter. It's the same old shit in the letter, and I even predicted that out LOUD before he finished writing it. You know, when someone does that, don't you think you should think of new material?
Things truly suck right now around here and I don't hold out much hope that things will ever get better, or even NORMAL again.
This morning I picked up my basketweave cloth and sat down to finish it, and noticed that on the last set of squares I did it backwards and had to unravel 6 rows. Why is it that I can knit something complicated and not make any mistakes, but when I do something simple, just knitting and purling, I screw up. It happens EVERY TIME.
I have nothing to talk about right now. This journal sucks and I hate it. I should enable commenting so I can see how much you hate it too.
Friday night Jon and I watched Pieces of April. It was kind of cute. I must say I got teary eyes at the end. While we watched that, I knitted with my new lilac cotton. It's nice. I like it a lot. Saturday we stayed home all day. I actually got up with Devan and made her oatmeal while we watched the Prehistoric SpongeBob episode. I didn't like it and Devan refers to it as the 'bad pungebob' I took a shower and then I did a self portrait and worked on my collage, which I'll show you, I guess. It's not that great or anything but I like having pictures and links in my journal.
After I did that, I came upstairs and started cleaning. I went on the deck and cleaned out all of my flower pots from last year's impatiens. Gross. Then I washed all kinds of stuff, and then I cleaned devan's room. It took a long time and I was kind of annoyed about that. I came back downstairs to work on my collage again and Jon got pizza from Domino's that SUCKED. Grosssssss. And then I came downstairs again and we watched Runaway Jury which was OK.
Oh yea, after that, we got into an argument cuz he is annoying.
So I woke up this morning at 9:30 or something and got Devan ready to go and she looked really cute in her little pink knee socks. She went to church playgroup thing with Jon's mom and I guess she pushed another baby? Ah well. Jon and I went to Best Buy, got a Tivo, then we went to Michaels and I bought some cotton yarn and a couple presents for a certain someone's birthday.
I didn't really study much all week. I really don't have any excuse except that I hate school and it's way too easy and if it were up to me it would be a lot HARDER and I would actually HAVE to study in order to get good grades. It's just a joke and I'm tired of wasting my time. So there.
Tonight was a Boring Soprano's sunday. We had pasta and gaahlic bread and it was divine. I'm freezing right now and I'm about to take a shower. Also I have the tiniest bruise on my thumb. This sucks, sorry.
Ugh. As if I wasn't having a hard enough time buckling down and concentrating on studying for my midterm... Feast your eyes on this:
Ok I just want to tell everyone in the world how delighted I am with Elann. There are only a few companies that make me so damned happy. Elann, Lands End, and Charm City Kids. All of these guys have the FASTEST shipping I have ever experienced. No, Lands End has nothing to do with knitting, but I thought I'd give them props because my stuff always arrives within about 4 days TOPS. I just ordered from Elann at about 1 am on wednesday and my stuff was here at NOON today. Sweet. So anyways..
My experience with cotton has always been pleasant. I really like knitting with it because it's never fussy or fuzzy and it works up smoooooth. The only unpleasant thing is you never really know how heavy it's going to be and my last cotton 'thing' grew a lot after washing it. That was with Bernat Cotton Tots which was a totally different fabric but I'm just saying. My first reaction to the yarn was that it was really heavy and really stiff. I got a little knot in my stomache because I definitely don't want the garment to be heavy. And I want it to be really comfortable. After working up a swatch, I'm a lot happier. It's pretty light actually, and I really love the sheen this cotton has on it. And I am in love with the Lilac. Not sure if you can really tell by the picture and I don't have time to sit and fiddle with the color of the image. If you're wondering what yarn it is - It's the Endless Summer Sonata Collection from Elann. This color looks amazing on me, (not to toot my own horn) even if it isn't one of my personal favorite colors.
My only problem so far is that I didn't get the label gauge.I'm sick of using 7's so I have to actually sit and think this through for a few minutes. I'm + 1 stitch and I could really give a damn about row gauge cuz I usually just keep measuring like a lunatic until I get what I want.
I wish this weekend would last forever. I don't want to take my midterm! Except after I'm done with class wednesday, I have spring break which is sweet, and that's when I plan on really getting busy on this project. I hope. God this is so boring today and I apologize. No one in my family, and none of my friends care at all about what I'm knitting and this has to be putting people to sleep.
*sigh* I'm just watching the news. What do you think about the Bush campaign ads? To be totally honest, I don't care much because a. I don't watch much tv and b. I was not personally touched by sept. 11th. What I DO think is that it's not right to use it for political gain. It's not right to use it if victims and relatives of victims are angered by it.
Well this is a little short, because it's 11:11 at night and I just heard Devan running around in her room!
This isn't really a knitting blog. I just happen to knit and sometimes I talk about it here. I've been thinking about setting up a gallery of my work, and an actual, official knitting blog. So basically, if you don't want to read about my art classes, toddler tales, political ramblings and rantings, how sick I was on the Tuesday of last month, well this probably isn't the place for you.
One of the reasons I haven't started a blog strictly for knitting is because I never have time to finish ANYTHING I start and I'm always starting new stuff because there's a lot of stress in my life lately and it helps to get my mind off it with something other than the usual stockinette. Another reason I haven't got a seperate knitting blog is because, while I really enjoy knitting and it's quite cathartic for me, I generally don't have a whole lot to say about it. I don't get much time to knit, and when I really DO get a lot of time to knit I spend that time knitting something big and and plain because it's something I 'need to finish up' or I'm watching a movie and I want something I don't have to look at. That said, I hope you'll stay and read because I think right now there are approximately 2 people who read this and isn't that sad?
< / disclaimer >
Ok Hi! I've been kind of putting off doing homework all day. I did one self portrait in charcoal. It looked good when I finished it but then about an hour later when I was looking at the photo I took of it for my studio journal, it looked all crazy and I had a gargantuan forehead. I really HATE doing self portraits because I get really tired of looking at myself in the mirror and noticing new, unpleasant things. Like wrinkles and gray hair and zits (yay chocolate.)
Jon's friend is here 'typing a paper' (yeaaa right! I think he's playing fantasy sports) and I don't feel like getting all involved in artwork while there's someone here so I'm taking a break. I did a little bit of technical work, plotting out a 'figgah' as my professor says (she's from England) and I also made a grid. I just have to paint the blocks and I'll be good to go.
Midterms are next week. I'm not terribly stressed about it but I do have a lot of work to do before I can really feel comfortable walking in to take them. Oh well I must feed my doggies now because that made Jon really happy last night, not having to come home and do it!
I've been so unhappy lately, and I think my unhappiness is manifesting itself in unhealthy eating and spending habits. I have eaten so much chocolate that I am terrified my skin won't ever recover, not that it was terribly amazing to begin with. I've also been buying things like no one's business. Ok to justify it a little, I will admit that I am returning MOST of the things I bought last week because they didn't fit or I was just unhappy with them. I did buy a couple other *cheaper* things at a less expensive online shop - and let me just say I did need new clothes. All I ever wear are stupid teeshirts and ripped up jeans. I mean sure I guess I could LIVE like that, but I didn't really want to and Jon also thought it was a good idea for me to get some new clothes. So I did. I bought 4 balls of yarn for my brother's hat that I didn't really ask Jon if it was ok to buy.
Sometimes I resent the fact that I have to ASK for anything, so I don't. And to be perfectly honest, Jon doesn't MAKE me ask to buy anything he just would like to know when I do buy something so it is not a big surprise later on. That said, I just dropped a large amount of cash tonight on 60 balls of yarn. Why, you ask? Well I'm trying to design a submission to the summer issue of Knitty.
I can't really get into my idea on here but I am figuring that knitting 3 or 4 different sizes, plus yarn for fiddling around with and figuring out some of the design, 60 balls still seems high but I don't want to run short and have the people have nothing left in stock. I bought 3 colors - white, black, and lavender. I thought I'd start with lavender on myself since I do think I look nice in that color. My stomache feels sick from buying so many balls of yarn because I have a lot of yarn already. I don' t have the kid of yarn I needed for this, so that's why I had to buy more. I am kind of freaking out about this because A. I feel like I am being really selfish buying things right now. I seriously have never really gone through a phase of buying so many things at once before. Oh I forgot to say that I also bought a gallon of coconut oil and a gallon of palm oil, which I regret buying now, cuz i have so much to do.
I feel like somewhere inside me I am trying to make Jon mad because I guess if I made him mad and made him feel like he couldn't trust me with stuff, then that would explain why he won't marry me. I guess sometimes a bad excuse is better than having no excuse. And I guess in buying these things, the yarn and the oils I feel like I am doing something productive. Making soap and knitting - not everyone can do this stuff. Does that make me more valuable to Jon? I doubt it. But it gives me a little confidence, knowing that I have skills and talents that make me different and special.
As you can tell I am pretty down. I was feeling kind of happy tonight when I got home from class but that has since faded and I got no work done like i'd planned and I spent money and I feel bad and well I guess I'm just going to promise myself not to do it again. Maybe Jon should take my money away.
So I've gained 2 lbs. One last week and one this week. This has something to do with my PERIOD i'm sure. I hope anyways. I'm determined to be in a good mood today, come hell or high water. I need something to eat before I leave the house (to get my stuff at the post office) or I will be compelled to stop somewhere which would no doubt end up with me eating about a week's worth of calories at once. I just remembered It's JON'S DAD'S birthday today. I had intended to make him something but never got time to do it. It's a Christmas present now. Ah so much to do today. I cleaned up some of my messes upstairs but I still haven't done any homework or cleaned up the nintendo stuff i dropped. Well i better get going!
I woke up this morning with the song "The Art of Dying" by George Harrison in my head. I'm gonna go ahead and take that as a bad sign today. I have to leave for school in about 45 minutes. In that time I have to clean off my car, get Devan dressed, go to the bathroom, eat something else, and of course the most important thing, update my journal.
