The girl with kaleidoscope eyes

9.30.2003

Hi. Today Dev and I walked 4 times around the track. We outlasted everyone who showed up. I would have done 5 - but I am getting another blister on my foot. I need a better pair of shoes.

I also cut my hair, want to see?

It's supposed to look like the new med student on this season's ER (you know, the Indian girl from Bend It Like Beckham) Her hair is totally cute, but I left mine a little longer because well, I cut like 8 inches and I really didn't want to die from the shock of it all.

Devan got her hair cut too. She was really good, at least that's what the girl who cut it said. All of Devan's new clothes are here too and I can hardly handle it. I want her to wear everything all at once cuz it's all so cute. Except that blue skirt that I was so excited about. Turns out it's "Scorts" which I think are pretty annoying, especially on a baby. What ever happened to skirts/diaper covers ... scorts.. how stupid.

I was playing animal crossing today, and because there was some raffle thing I just ended up weeding the entire town. Talk about being bored. I have a history test to study for. I studied on Sunday and Saturday, but i need to do some more. It's funny. When I'm actually prepared for class, I leave the class way more confused than i was before, because my prof is not the kind of guy who takes notes, he kind of just lectures off the top of his head and ends up giving lots of wrong dates and wrong titles and things like that. I think that sucks, but Oh welllllll, I'll just tune him out when he starts confusing me.

In other news, Lily won't stop biting me, and I wore sweatpants to school yesterday. Sorry. to everyone. It won't happen again.

posted @ 3:09 PM

9.25.2003

Well hello dere!

Today has been a relatively productive day. I just finally ate lunch and it's 4:30. I brought in all of my potted plants from the deck so that I can try to keep them alive through the winter. I think I'm going to cut my losses with the hanging baskets because they are just too big to bring in through the winter. Plus bugs. I hate bugs and I don't think I can be sure they're all out and I won't be able to sleep at night if I think there might be bugs in my room (even though I KNOW there are bugs in my room because I LIVE in the woods and I always see bugs...)

I was just looking at ikea's website and there is a wall unit I want to buy for downstairs, and a couple wall shelves I want to buy for upstairs. I wish I had money. I also want new sheets for my bed, and I'd like to go to some fabric stores and buy some bits of fabric to sew a nice duvet. I want reds. If you have anything red, made out of fabric that's in good condition that you don't want anymore, I'll take it. Might not use it, but I'll take it.

so I've been trying to knit this scarf for awhile now, and everytime I get remotely close to something resembling a scarf, Devan comes around and slips the needle out of the work and I lose it all. This is my life.

posted @ 4:38 PM

9.23.2003

Tomorrow Devan is going to be watched by Gocky and Dee Dee.

I thought I had written about the stupid quiz I took in History class. Well I left class that day feeling angry and spent most of my time from wed- through monday plotting my revenge against Hughes. Well it turns out that I didn't do as badly as I thought and I'm relieved about that.

Last night's Child Psych class was not as great as the other ones had been. I was kind of bored, and I had to pee pretty badly from 7:30 until I got home from school at about 10. This is because I drank a lot of coffee and rootbeer.

It's about that time of year again, you guessed it, clothes for Devan time! She's got about 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants that fit her so I better get busy shopping. She is definitely getting one pair of mary janes, possibly 2 (brown leather and blue leather) if the prices are good enough. I will get black dress shoes for holiday junk, and tennis shoes at walmart. That's what I usually do, unless the baby gap has excellent clearance sales on them. Devan also needs KNEE SOCKS because knee socks are adorable and she is finally big enough to wear them. I am so excited. This year it seems like the fashions are right up my alley. (of course you'd never know it by looking at me, I wear the same pair of blue jeans and jon's teeshirts every day). I found a navy wrap skirt at the baby gap, and some cute corderoy dresses at lands end. We'll see. I have to plan it all out because we don't have a whole lot of money and I can't stand buying stuff and having it not fit or not be able to be worn with anything else, so I like to buy, for example : blue and white shirt, denim overall dress, blue tights, white tights, blue shoes. and with these basic things I can put her in this navy blue skirt, I can buy a burgundy floral knit dress, a pink and blue striped rugby dress etc etc. And then I buy a couple extra outfits for comfortable days, like blue jeans and sweatshirts and little sweatpants for her to wear when she's just louging around the house. THis is about the most boring entry ever. Sorry.

I am cold. Today is the first day of Fall. and it is cold.

posted @ 5:30 PM

9.19.2003

is there anybody going to listen to my story

all about the bear who came to stay...

I am so excited about this and no one is around to listen to me talk about it! I called Jon but he had to go and I told him "hey, this is the most exciting thing that happened today and you're ruining it" and he was like "it is exciting, but I have to go..." Must not be that exciting, right?

So I'm sitting here knitting this scarf, and Lily's got the worst GAS on the planet right now. I think it has a lot to do with the beef rawhide I gave her. We usually stick to peanut butter because she loves it and her little tail wags furiously for peanut butter. So yea, Lily's got assplosions going on over here next to me.

I decided after about an hour of this that I couldn't take it anymore - she was sleeping up until then - so I took her outside. Well we were out and she peed. And I hear all this rustling i1n` the` *lily typed those mistakes with her nose* woods. And so then this Big HUGE black bear comes up to the fence and looks at me, and then looks at Lily who's busy yawning because, you know, her life is so hard. so then the bear put its front paws on the fence and kind of stands up and gives me a stern talking to. She sounded like Tim 'the tool man' Taylor.

I was pretty sure the bear wasn't really interested in attacking us or anything, but I wasn't taking any chances, so I picked Lily up and went inside to observe the bear from our upstairs deck.

So I am standing on my deck leaning over, and the bear is watching me (my deck is like a million feet up so it wasn't scary or anything) and then she walks out from behind the fence and she's got two cutey little black cubs with her. It was so cute I wanted to die right there. I wish wish wish my camera wasn't downstairs, or I would have taken about 100 pictures. I also wish bears weren't strong and potentially violent. I would really like to play with a cub! They have BIG BEAR BUTTS!

posted @ 3:23 PM

9.16.2003

I want to go to Ohio to see my new nephew! I can't go til at least tomorrow afternoon (2pm) but I am not sure If I can go at all because I don't know if I have the money for gas and all of that jazz.

ok this is gross. Lily keeps eating her own umm... poop. I'd love to be able to stop her but she sneaks off for a minute and goes, and eats it before I have the chance to even know what's going on. I've been keeping her on a leash so she can't sneak off, but every now and then when she gets away, she does that. I have no idea why. It is really grossing me out and making her really stinky. Also, this afternoon she peed in her crate. I am really annoyed by that because she seemed to be really holding it well, as she should be. I hope this isn't a major setback, because she was really getting the hang of it.

I traded my car in and got a mini-van. I figure there's no use denying that I'm a mother and that I have lots of stuff. And while I feel a little depressed as I walk towards my sparkly new van, (let's face it, I'm only 22 years old. I should be driving something else...) As soon as I get in and take a deep breath and smell that new car smell, I put the car in drive and I'm on my way. It's so comfortable and nice. I guess that's what counts.

Today is my day off between classes. I have a quiz tomorrow in history and I am pretty sure it's going to be difficult. Unfortunately, this semester I don't have that drive to do amazingly well in all of my classes. And unfortunately my history class requires that. It's the kind of class where the guy stands up and does a lecture, which I honestly do find fascinating and interesting and I understand it and everything. The problem though, is that the majority of the the test pertains to the text book, which I find to be unusually hard to read and understand. It's written in a very jumpy, clumsy kind of way. I read a page, and by the last paragraph I realize "wow, I have no idea what I just read and I've been thinking about (fill in the blank, with something having nothing to do with school) this whole time. what a waste of time."

So I am definitely going to study today. I have no choice. Jon has my car seat (which I knew would happen. I wish he'd just go out and buy another one for his car) because now I can't go get my decal for the the condo, or pick up my license plate from the car dealership. : (

I was going to make some chili today. Who knows what I'm going to do now. I have just realized that I really do need to get busy studying this quiz, otherwise I will definitely not do well.

I guess I am not going to ohio tomorrow. I have to go to the insurance company and do some stuff after school. GRRRREAT. so tomorrow I have to : go to school, go to the insurance company, *hopefully pick up my glasses at the mall, get my new barcode for the condos, pick up my license plate. I hate all of that running around. I would have been able to get the majority of that stuff done today if I had the car seat.

posted @ 2:13 PM

9.12.2003

Today is all about Harry Nilsson, more specific, "Without You".

Is this a totally crappy day or what? And what is with Kazaa not letting me download the correct version of Johnny Cash's cover of U2's "one" What a pain in the ass.

I am not gonna talk about Johnny Cash or anything anymore because it just sucks. So I'll talk about other stuff.

Jon got me Al Franken's new book, so perhaps I'll start reading it today. I just love that Ann Coulter is on the cover. It brings me great amounts of joy to see her dinosaur looking face (is it just me, or does she look like one of the sharp tooth's from the Land Before Time?). Have I ever shown you my coultergeist devil puppet picture that I made?

Lily had her first heartworm chew today and she had some vaccinations yesterday. She's asleep on my hip. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and among other things, I bought a 'fridge pack' of coke. What's the real meaning of this? Why did they need to design the coke packs differently? I don't mind or anything, I'm just curious. Jon came home and told me he feels that we have been had. I guess because I succumbed to advertising and packaging instead of just buying 2 liters. It wasn't that, honest. I just wanted cans.

posted @ 2:34 PM

Today is a BLACK day

RIP

posted @ 9:40 AM

9.09.2003

I just had myself a nice long cry. I am feeling better now. I woke up feeling really down and disappointed in a lot of different things. Things are stressful right now and they were starting to look up! But today, I don't know what's wrong with today...

I just turned off the tv. I was watching vh1 and those stupid specials about how celebrities spend lots of money on lots of stupid things came on and it just disgusts me. "Hi I'm a celebrity and I have little to no talent and don't really contribute all that much to anything at all, but I make more money in a week than you'll make in your life!" Why don't teachers and social workers and firemen and police officers make more money? I think that money should work like a ladder system and you should make more money if more people depend on you for important everyday services (not entertainment). What about electricians? Farmers? Mechanics? Computer / Network technicians? Nurses? Postal Workers? I'm so sick of this hollywood excess it makes me want to PUKE.

Ok. I am done talking about that. It makes me too mad. Ps. I'm not jealous.

I had my child development/psychology class last night. I was pleasantly suprised that the professor was not who I thought it would be. Allthough the other would have been fine. I like this guy.

The car I wanted is too expensive for us. Darn. I was excited about that.

I cannot seem to lose any more weight. I've lost 20 lbs. I've been on weight watchers for 10 months. I am trying. Hard. I do eat treats here and there but I don't go over my points and I don't understand it. I'm really frustrated and discouraged.

posted @ 1:20 PM

9.04.2003

Ok, so I decided to go to school. Yesterday was my first day of classes. It's really not that big of a deal to go, I don't know what my problem was. I have 4 classes on Monday and 3 of the same classes on Wednesday. So I haven't gone to my 4th Monday class yet and I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm hoping that the class is enough fun that it overshadows the fact that I hate the idea of driving BACK to Newton at night. in the fall. and winter. BLEH.

So far my favorite class is my history class. I hated history last semester. It was the instructor I couldn't stand. For the majority of the semester she went off on tangents that had so little to do with the subject matter that I just zoned out the entire time. And then at the end of the semester she GAVE us every answer to the final exam. As in "just write down these words and memorize them." Where's the challenge in that? Plus she had the "uh" problem. You know, saying "UHHHH" between each word. Matt said he counted one day and he lost track after 100. This guy, Hughes, I think he's from Mass. and he seems very passionate about history and seems to know a lot about everything. I think he's liberal, as he made some crack about the president and mentioned Al Franken's book. My last instructor, Rubino, was a Rush Limbaugh listening conservative who drove a mercedes. She was nice and all, but I had a hard time with her rants about politics. ZzzzZZZzzzz.

I was just watching Steven Sabados on HGTV and he was saying that the biggest misconception that people have about interior design is WHITE ceilings. I'm glad I saw that. I was sitting upstairs today wishing I'd painted the ceiling the same color as the walls upstairs and I thought I shouldn't. So I am thinking of painting the ceiling that color, and installing some crown moulding all along the ceiling in an offwhite color. It will be hot. Trust me.

Lily is sick. Tuesday morning I noticed that Lily was making this weird hacking sound. Well I got home from school on Wed. and she had a runny nose and just seemed lethargic. I assumed Kennel cough and I was right. She'll be fine, and aside from that she's doing perfectly.

Lily also is doing so well going outside! In fact, this morning after her breakfast, I think that she scratched the door, because I heard a noise and then I saw her start to sniff and turn around in circles. So I think she told me she had to POOOOOP! YAY! She's had a couple accidents here and there but you can't really call them accidents, because a puppy can't be expected to hold it in until about 12 weeks, they don't have the muscle control til then. So it's the old saying "if the puppy goes in the house, smack yourself. You didn't do your job" She is getting the hang of peeing outside, and goes almost immediately. Even with this wet weather. She seems really smart. Already knows how to sit. I've only been working on her sitting since Last Wednesday.

Well I didn't reach the weight goal I wanted to get to by Sept 1. I need to lose 2 more lbs to reach it. Darnit! At least now, since my soon-to-be sister-in-law asked me to be in her wedding, I actually have motivation to stay on track.

If I hadn't bought lily, I would definitely have adopted this 3 year old Yellow Lab from the animal shelter. She's 3 years old, housetrained, obedience trained, has no behavior problems when left alone, doesn't chew... seriously is this a dream dog or what? I feel bad that I can' t take her. She's so sweet looking.

posted @ 1:15 PM

9.02.2003

*SPAZZZZ*

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I had this tiny voice in my head say "Peggy you should just go to school" and now that little tiny voice is driving me crazy. I am supposed to go withdraw today and I don't know what to do. Here are the plusses to school:

It is sometimes enjoyable

Having a million things to do at once forces me to be productive: I need to be challenged like that because it's when I'm my most productive and feel the best about myself.

Using my brain is fun

I waste a lot of time, and school is definitely not a waste of time, no matter how pointless I think a particular course is

It's free right now (why not take advantage of that?)

It allows me 15 hours of freedom per week, not really freedom since I'm in class, but it gives me a chance to look at things through a different set of eyes. (you know, other than as a mother of a toddler) It gives me more depth

Devan gets a change of scenery and gets to visit with her beloved mum-mum, papa and decka.

and with the good comes the bad:

Have to leave my baby (in good hands, of course)

Lily will have to go in her crate for 12 hours a week, appx. 6 hours on mon-wed, which really isn't terrible, she can hold it that long.

Limits my time spent out of state. Wed-Sun. visits aren't so great.

I'm lazy

Papers, papers, papers. Last semester I was going out of my mind with all the stupid (what I considered) pointless papers. Didn't spend enough time with Dev while working on them.

state aid is messed up. won't get a big check at the end of the semester.

didn't study spanish at all this summer : (

Gosh this is a hard descision. help!

posted @ 9:24 AM

9.01.2003

I just got off the phone with my dad. I don't have a lot to say about that.

I slept til 2pm today, off and on. I have been feeling very tired lately. Hopefully I'll be semi-intelligent and go to bed a little earlier than usual so that I wake up with Devan and don't feel like poo. I have to go to the school tomorrow and withdraw from my classes. It would be nice to do 1 class, an art class. But I don't have the money to pay for anything - it's all or nothing unfortunately.

I can't stop thinking about that art studio that they made on Divine Design the other night. It was so nice. All I want is the wall unit with the slots and the drawers and the baskets. I don't need the sexy chaise lounge or the bullitin board or anything else. Just the art stuff! Someone help!

Having another baby would be nice. Today I had a dream I was pregnant and it was a nice dream even though I don't want to have another baby until I lose some weight. Since we got the puppy (p.i.t.a) I am just really appreciating what a joy Devan is. She's like sunshine and I look foreward to seeing her all the time. Not that I don't enjoy the puppy. The puppy, however, is more work than rewards and Dev is just the opposite, and honestly always has been. Never has she been hard to deal with or stressful. Maybe we just got really lucky. I actually MISS having to do more for her and having to guess what she needed because she couldn't communicate it. Now she tells me exactly what she wants and I don't know, it's just kind of sad.

I have a headache like someone is drilling on the right side of my temple. We only have 1 advil tablet and it's advil cold and sinus and I have neither of those things, so what the heck am I going to do? Nothing, that's what. Jon is playing star wars on the x box. I am just sitting here with some coke, wishing I had some ice cream down here. I have to make an appointment for Lily at the vet. My dad said he wants to go to the hospital because he has something wrong that he doesn't want to talk about, and he said he's afraid to go by himself. and I'd really like to drop everything and help him out. I just can't with the new puppy. I have to wait til she goes to the vet to get spayed.

posted @ 10:23 PM