The girl with kaleidoscope eyes

6.29.2002

We actually did not do most of the things I said we were going to do today.we pretty much just packed and threw stuff away. I am sure there are people who'd want some of this junk, but we haven't got time to sell it or give it away. We're throwing out our kitchen table, a lazy boy(crap), coffee table and end tables, desks, and our entertainment center. pretty much all of it is particle board, so it's not priceless furniture.

posted @ 5:47 PM

hi. have you ever been wanted to see my desktop? Well if you have, today is your lucky day

posted @ 12:23 AM

6.28.2002

hi. my birthday is next sunday!!! I want this belt buckle so bad! I also want this and THIS I would also really like to have this book and the character three pack of teeshirts, and the black sweatshirt with the red robot on it. Thnx!

posted @ 8:12 PM

my pal dusty just showed me a funny article with an equally funny picture : baby go boom!

posted @ 3:31 PM

i really must get treatment. i have an unhealthy obsession with britney spears and jlo! THERE! I ADMITTED IT! omigodiamsoembarrassed!

hit me babay one more timeeee

posted @ 3:02 PM

Today is a beautiful, warm(but not hot), sunny Friday afternoon. I'm sitting here on my couch with my trusty Lasko wind tunnel blowing sweet cool air on me. I could probably fall asleep if I wanted, because I was informed that we have 1 more day to get our butts out of this apartment. We are getting the uhaul on sunday. I think we are moving our bed and all of that stuff over to Jon's parents tomorrow. That would be the smart idea, since we should probably get our stuff settled in there sometime before sunday night. I apologize for the lack of capitalization and punctuation, but I am using a new keyboard and it's hard to get used to.

I already wrote all this stuff (well it was slightly different since I generally don't memorize my journal entries before I type them out) but for some reason my computer just went kaput so here I am typing it all over again.

I was busy in devan's room this morning, sorting and packing and then I realized "oh no! I don't have any garbage bags or boxes or bins to put any of this stuff in!" So what the heck am i supposed to do all night? Jon's got all the boxes that I need in his car, baking in the sun in the parking lot at his work (which, in my opinion is the awesomest most appropriate place in the world for them! YAY! GO JON!) So anyhoo, I don't have anything I can do but sort, sort, sort. Only I don't feel like doing that, so that's why I'm here not doing anything in particular.

Jon found out from 'the super' that we are getting our security deposit back! woohoo! They said we are good tenants?! I guess. We barely ever spoke to anyone here, and rarely did they come into our apartment. How do they know we weren't performing satanic rituals in our living room on a daily basis? Whatever though! we're getting it back and that makes me happy.

posted @ 2:58 PM

there's nothing funnier in the whole world than Something Awful I've been sitting here laughing out loud for the last hour.

posted @ 1:26 AM

It's actually friday morning. I thought you'd never come dearest darling weekend!! This has been the longest most disgusting ugly awful week ever. Actually it hasn't been all that bad. I got a nice present from a pretty o-k dude (jon). It's too bad i'm such a jerk and I am always so mad all the time.

Today was another really annoying day. It is so hot and humid here. Devan's head is soaking wet all day. she sweats a lot, like jon. I'm not a sweater. I bake inwardly!

I'm doing allright in the rockstar game. All of my scores are above 100 -except writing songs. I'm at 94. They really screw you with that points system. One time i used 55 points to up my s.w score and i only moved up 1 lousy point. The next time i used 20 points and I moved up 2 points. what the heck?

I just got done packing up my bathroom linens and blankets. I have so much work to do tomorrow/today. Jon is working late tomorrow so he won't be much help! I don't mind, sometimes it's nice to have a nice friday night to myself. I have to pack up my kitchen tomorrow, and devan's room and my room. I've hardly done anything!!!

Devan said "cracker" today. She wasn't talkin' 'bout white folks either!

posted @ 12:35 AM

6.26.2002

and in the air it hung that she was dull razors

I wish this week would die a quick, painless death.

posted @ 1:10 PM

6.24.2002

Hi, I drew this this morning. I'm all signed up for school and I'm very very very excited. Jon said he might get me a laptop. We are moving this week. I have to go get a NJ drivers license. Actually I've had to for 2 years. I discovered a cool greenhouse today. It's called Shades of Green and it's hugungous! I didn't go inside, I was too busy trying to get to the school as quickly as humanly possible. I took Chris to the dr. He has an earache. While I was in the waiting room waiting for him, this lady came in with her three kids. Their names were Skyler, Kyler, and Tyler. ....And here I thought Jimmy and Timmy (my cousins) was confusing... Anyhoo, I had a nice chuckle.

posted @ 11:12 PM

Today I painted the bedroom at jon's mom and dad's house. It looks ok. Jon is asleep. I should be too. I'm a little restless though. ..and my stomache hurts. i'm tired. maybe overtired...

posted @ 1:03 AM

6.21.2002

Well I ended up laying down for 20 minutes, eating french fries, and waiting for devan to wake up. She's still asleep and it's getting late so I guess she'll be sleeping til tomorrow. She's been sleeping since around 5pm. Hopefully she doesn't wake up at the crack of dawn or anything like that.

Jon has to work tomorrow. This should be a wonderful, productive weekend of packing and moving.

I have Catcher in the Rye in front of me and I'm thinking about reading it again. Why o why? I've read it a million bajillion times but for some reason every time I see it ( I have a copy at my parents too) I pick it up and start reading it again. Or maybe I'll go read something I've not read before. I have I know this much is true by wally lamb. I've only read a couple of pages. I'm sure it has potential, but I just don't feel like it.

Do you ever feel like you're not letting yourself be as smart and as worldly as you'd like to think that you could be? That's how I have been feeling lately. My life is monotonous. There's no rhyme or reason. There's no point in that. I'm glad I am starting school, because I feel so dumb right now and I just need a challenge. I have to wake up my brain... just not right now, i'm too tired.

posted @ 9:32 PM

so tired so tired so tired. I want to go take a nap since devan is, but I have french fries that i'm getting ready to bake. hm. maybe i should turn the oven off and bake them later. I don't know what to do.

posted @ 5:52 PM

CLOWNED!

posted @ 11:03 AM

6.20.2002

Hi. I hate alan keyes! That's all! bye.

posted @ 10:27 PM

I'll say it again "if you read my guestbook, please SIGN IT"

We are watching Ms Sparta on public television. We keep making fun of the girls. They're so stupid!! The one that is on now "entertains retired nuns" ..........

SOMEBODY STOP ME! I'm addicted to the Rockstar Game! Please, makers of the rockstar game, please let me trade money for points, cuz i have a lot of money and absolutely no points. thanks!!! Today I made cover art for my single that I am going to release. I am not telling you what it's called cuz it's dirty and I'm not showing you the picture cuz it has the name of the single on it.

I think our cat is being extra nice to us because she doesn't want us to get rid of her. I don't want to get rid of her. She's such a good girl.

I made homemade chicken fingers tonight, and homemade honey mustard and fries. So good. I'm going to put my recipes on the recipe page soon. Mm.

posted @ 10:19 PM

I have a headache again. I am very excited about school. It doesn't start til September. I've been wanting to go for so long and I never thought I could. Well I can and I will. If I need to find devan a babysitter for a couple hours a day, so be it. I'm going and nothing is going to stop me.

posted @ 10:45 AM

6.19.2002

Hi. Start playing the Rockstar Game! My band is called The Excedrines, for obvious reasons.

posted @ 11:35 PM

I'm short, fat, and proud of that! and so with all my might, I will up, down, touch the ground, to my appetite's delight!

posted @ 10:37 PM

Hi I just smashed my knee into the side of the desks. woowee did that hurt. I bruise like a mofo so that one should be gorgeous.

This afternoon I made the mistake of taking goosie to the college with me to talk to the financial aid officer and to schedule some courses. She was so bad. She kept screaming and wiggling and she got ritz crumbs on everything. I was so embarrassed. She'd wiggle off my lap and try to run away so I'd grab her hand to pull her back and she'd squeal and giggle loudly and then she'd cry when she realized i was serious. The guy who helped me was nice though. He could tell I was really getting flustered and embarrassed. His name was Al and he said "people who have had kids will understand and people who haven't will not. That's just the way it goes."

It made me feel better. I was already feeling paranoid after reading some entries in the Child Free live journal today. Don't get me wrong, I love having devan, and I don't consider myself a "breeder" by the childfree standards, but today, I'm pretty sure I would have been judged that way by the baby hating community.

Anyways, back to why I was at the college. I was talking to Tammy, My brother's girlfriend, online and she sort of gave me the encouragement I needed to go there and register and get the ball rolling. They kept asking me if I was going to declare a major. I'd like to declare three. I want 3 degrees. Design, Fine arts, and Women's studies. Maybe I'd be biting off more than I can chew, but you know, if I can go to school for free, I want to take advantage of it. So far I'm registering full time and will be taking 4 classes.

posted @ 10:25 PM

If you read my journal, please sign my guestbook.

posted @ 11:55 AM

click here to see my newest artwork. It's not that great but whatevs!

posted @ 12:40 AM

6.18.2002

Today was Jon's mother's birthday. We went to Jon's grandma DePue's and had pizza and cake. It was fun. My birthday is coming up. It's july 7. I hate sitting there opening presents. Everyone is always looking at you for reactions and stuff.... Hopefully Devan is loud and obnoxious on my birthday!!!

My apartment is a mess and I don't want to clean it. What's the point? There are leaves from my plants on the floor. Devan is responsible for that. She's also responsible for the oreo cookies ground into my carpet, and the potting soil and sam's choice cola over in the corner underneath the end table. The bathroom is crazy right now. There's a box on the counter with all this stuff in it. Jon packed it. Why couldn't we keep the bathroom stuff out of the box?

There are lots of cardboard boxes full of decorations and artwork and photographs and tools all over the living room.

I don't want to move. I don't want to move down I mean. If we were moving into our own house or a better apartment I wouldn't be so sad, but this is sad...

I didn't call my dad on father's day. I was afraid to call and find out anything bad -- like that he was in jail, or that he lost his job, or that he was back in glenbay (is that how it's spelled?). I feel guilty for not calling, but I can't handle all of the things he tells me. The last time he called me it ruined my day. I wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep the whole day away. also when he called I was using nair, and i ended up with chemical burns all over my legs. They still itch from this incident.

I really must start exercizing. Not only am I repulsed by myself, but I haven't got any energy, and I wish I could run a marathon. I'd really like to someday. For cystic fibrosis or MS or something.

There's this website I looked at today and it made me feel really sad and confused. It's called tradition values dot org It just really made me feel sick. I don't feel like getting into it, so don't ask why.

Dear stabbing pains behind my eyes that have been plaguing me since Thursday afternoon, Please go away. You're scary and distracting.

posted @ 11:10 PM

6.13.2002

There was a fire last night. In the building across from mine at around 11pm this annoying buzzer started going off and flashing blue lights everywhere. Then the fire engines came. I can't believe Devan stayed asleep. I can't figure out why my blogger template isn't working correctly. The lettering is supposed to be black, not gray. eff this!

posted @ 4:38 PM

how cute is this?!?!

posted @ 4:34 PM

6.10.2002

*yawn* I am so tired right now. I wish I could have slept in. I have to start finding boxes to pack up the stuff we don't use that often. We are moving out of here. this month. We are moving into jon's parents house. Devan is eating a cracker and watching blue's clues. I do not like Joe.(the steve replacement).

i have to update devan's pictures. i have her birthday pics.

posted @ 10:29 AM

6.05.2002

Well it's June. June 5th actually. Devan took her first steps on June 3rd while we were trapped in her bedroom because they were cleaning our carpets. I got some annoying news today so I am in an annoyed mood. I need a break. I need to be by myself for a little while. I'm making fish marinated in lemon garlic and herbs. and a vegetable and something else.

It is so hot here I can't stand it. I have the fan blowing on me and I took a cold shower, but the fan is making my eyes water, and the shower didn't help.

I did see star wars, even though I didn't want to.

The stupid NJ nets game is on tonight. NOT THAT I CARE, but I'll be forced to watch.

I'm not sure when we're getting married. Basically the subject has been put on hold since jon's paycut. we cannot afford anything these days.

posted @ 6:37 PM